This is a design mockup. The Fountain Hill Community Club is an invented organisation. Every name, figure, date, address and telephone number on this page is a placeholder.
Fountain Hill Community Club Excelsior Springs · first and third Wednesday, 7 p.m.

Last year this club took in $18,240 and gave away $18,240.

Here is every dollar of it, on both sides, with the date it came in and the name of the thing it turned into. No club in this county publishes this. We think that is the whole reason people hesitate to give, and the reason people who need help never think to ask.

Year ended 31 May

What came in, and what it bought

Read down the right hand column first. If something on it sounds like your household, the next section is for you.

Raised

Pancake breakfast, Hall of WatersSecond Saturday in March, 411 plates
$4,110
Sweet corn stand, Highway 10Nine Saturdays, July into August
$3,880
Fall trivia night, American LegionNineteen tables
$2,850
Christmas tree lotThree weekends, 128 trees
$3,420
Memorial giftsEleven families, given in someone's name
$2,180
Member dues34 members at $50
$1,700
Interest, operating account
$100
Total in$18,240

Spent

Eyeglasses, 37 pairsThrough the school nurse, no names kept
$4,440
Two graduating seniors$1,500 each, paid to the school, not the student
$3,000
Utility assistance, 22 householdsPaid direct to the utility in winter
$3,300
Ballfield lights, north diamondTwo poles relamped, our share of four
$2,600
Food pantry, standing monthly order
$2,400
Hearing aid batteries and one repair
$1,140
Two funeral luncheonsCooked and served by members
$860
Insurance, licence and suppliesThe whole of our overhead
$500
Total out$18,240

The two columns match because we do not carry a balance. Money raised in a year is given away in that year, less the $500 of overhead above. There is no building, no salary, no reserve fund and no endowment. Thirty four people cook, sell corn and hand it back.

If you need something

There is no form, no income test and no committee meeting about you

Most people who need help from a club like this never ask, because they assume there is paperwork and that somebody will find out. There is not, and nobody will.

  1. Telephone one person

    Ring (816) 555-0186 and ask for whoever is holding the relief fund this year. If you would rather not say your name, do not say it.

  2. Say the actual problem

    The gas is being shut off Thursday. My daughter cannot read the board and glasses are $240. There is no wrong way to say it and no minimum size.

  3. We pay the bill, not you

    Money goes straight to the utility, the optician or the school. That is how the books above stay clean, and it means nothing lands in your account for anyone to see.

  4. It is finished within a week

    Two members can approve anything under $500 between meetings. Larger than that waits for the next Wednesday. We will tell you which it is on the phone rather than leaving you wondering.

We keep no record of who received anything. The figures in the ledger above are totals and counts because that is all that exists. If you are worried about that, ask on the phone and we will tell you exactly what gets written down, which is a date and an amount.

Four dates make the whole year

Come to one of these before you think about joining

  • Second SaturdayMarch, 7 to 11 a.m.

    Pancake breakfast at the Hall of Waters

    Adults $10, children under ten free, and every plate is cooked and carried by a member. This is the one to bring somebody to, because you will meet the entire club in one morning.

  • SaturdaysMid July to late August

    Sweet corn on Highway 10

    Picked that morning by a member who farms east of town and sold from a trailer until it is gone, which is usually by ten. Two people work each Saturday.

  • Third FridayOctober, doors 6.30 p.m.

    Trivia night at the American Legion

    Tables of eight, $80 a table. Nineteen tables last year and we have room for twenty six, which is the only figure in this club we would like to see go up.

  • Late NovemberThree weekends

    Christmas tree lot

    Fraser and Scotch pine trucked from Michigan. This one funds the winter utility assistance almost exactly, which is why it runs in the cold and why we keep doing it.

Joining

Dues are $50. The real ask is about forty hours.

We would rather tell you that now than have you find out in April. A member who pays and never turns up is worth $50 a year to this town. A member who works two Saturdays of corn is worth a great deal more, and the ledger above is the proof.

What a year looks like

Two meetings a month, both an hour. One shift at the breakfast, two or three Saturdays of corn, a night at trivia and a weekend on the tree lot. Nobody does all of it and nobody is asked to.

Who is in it

Thirty four members. The longest serving joined in 1979, the newest in February. Roughly half are retired and about a third have never held an office and never want to.

The facts

Meets
First and third Wednesday
Time
7 p.m., done by 8
Where
Clubhouse, Golf Hill Drive
Dues
$50 a year, billed in June
Meal
$12 if you want one, optional
Visitors
Any meeting, no notice

Come on a Wednesday. You do not have to tell anyone you are coming.

If you would rather ring first, that is the same number people use to ask for help, and the same person answers it.

Call (816) 555-0186

Where we meet

The clubhouse
Golf Hill Drive
Excelsior Springs, Missouri

When

First and third Wednesday
7 p.m. to 8 p.m.
No meetings in July.

Relief fund

(816) 555-0186
Answered by a member, not an office. Leave a message and it is returned the same day.